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or supposed to be picking your dog's shit. But, I did ask if you wanted a. So..here's my opinion. Do not under estimate the stress she feels, Ubel made a GREAT point, pay attention to it and take it to heart. Quit with this bullshit about 'I know it takes two BUT'. Every fucking thing you say you own up to is followed by some excuse, yes EXCUSE of why your shit isn't as bad as her's. You want to a counselor? Then YOU go and when you do, don't pull this shit like you did here don't try and phrase it all up so you look like a victim. You'll save about 5 appointments that way as the counselor sit there hoping you start taking some responsibility, nodding his/her head as you vent it out waiting for you to expose the truth. No, you seem like one of those who'll go to 1 or 2 appointments and receive the validation (- counselors like to build your broken selfesteem before dealing with your real shit) and once you get it, you'll take that and attack your spouse with it. My counselor says Counseling is to fix YOUR shit, not figure out how you fix her's. And lastly acknowledge the damage you've done, take that multiplier Ubel used when you talk to your wife and apologize. Apologize for 5 years and let her be a real apology, unvarnished, raw and exposed. Leave it be no prompting for anything just walk away. Tell her you don't know how hard it is for her or how much misery she's in but you're sorry for how you've acted. You'll do your best to change, figure out how to make some income and become a full partner. and MEAN IT., that's owning it. Saying part of it and then getting angry if it isn't reciprocated is bullshit, a false apology, it's baiting. So if you can sit there and listen if she takes the opportunity to attack you, if you can say 'I just wanted you to know' if she sits in silence and then walk away. what comes from that. if it starts a dialogue after a day or two or ever. At least it should show you if it's time to that attorney.
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